“I’m gonna say something. Are you listening?”

Nothing is forever. Those days that burned and those cold nights didn’t last forever. Those long talks about nothing. Saying over and over again how bad I wanted out of that place. I finally left. 

Coming home to drown myself in self pity and a bottle of anything I could get my hands on, that didn’t last forever. All the apologies and broken hearts. All the disappointments and the vices that almost swallowed me. I scraped and I fell, I lost and I lost again. I ruined everything but it didn’t last forever. I didn’t let it. 

Now I sit and write this and I’m trying to find the words. It’s hard to write when you’re content. I’m in a good place and maybe it won’t last forever but right now I’m in love. In love with things and people that fixed everything broken in me. 

Sometimes it’s a good thing to not have all the words, to not have it explode out of you the way it did when everything was going wrong, when you were clawing and ripping yourself apart. Lost in your own head. 

In this moment I don’t have the words or rhythm to describe the feeling that’s racing through my heart. 

I’m just finally happy. 

Forever.

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